Preparing Yourself and Your Children For A Prison Visit

Emotional Preparation

Take Care of Yourself Before & After: Eat, rest, and find ways to emotionally decompress after the visit, such as journaling or talking to a trusted friend.
Acknowledge Your Feelings: Understand that visiting a loved one in prison can be emotionally overwhelming. Prepare yourself for a mix of emotions, including sadness, anxiety, and relief.
Manage Expectations: Be honest with yourself and your children about what to expect—security measures, limited contact, and time constraints.
Talk to a Support System: Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or therapists to process your feelings before and after the visit.
Prepare for Emotional Reactions: Recognize that both you and your children may experience strong emotions before, during, and after the visit. Plan a way to process these feelings together.

Know the Rules: Check the prison’s website or call ahead to understand visitor guidelines, dress codes, what you can bring, and visiting hours.
Plan for Security Checks: Be ready to go through metal detectors, bag searches, and possibly pat-downs. Prepare children for this in a way that makes them feel safe.
Dress Appropriately: Many facilities have strict dress codes (e.g., no revealing clothing, certain colors, or metal accessories). Dress accordingly to avoid being turned away.
Bring Proper Documentation: Ensure you have the required IDs, paperwork, and pre-approvals for visitation.
Arrive Early: Processing can take time, so plan to arrive ahead of your scheduled visit.
Have a Backup Plan for Young Kids: If your child struggles with the environment, be prepared to step out or leave early if necessary.

Use Simple Language: Explain in age-appropriate terms where their parent is and what to expect. For example, "Mommy/Daddy is in a special place where we have to follow rules to see them."
Role-Play the Visit: Practice going through metal detectors and sitting in a designated space to help them feel more comfortable.
Bring Comfort Items: If allowed, bring a favorite small toy or blanket to help them feel secure.
Prepare for Separation: If they become upset when leaving, reassure them that they will visit again.

Answer Questions Honestly: Kids in this age group are curious and may ask why their parent is in prison. Provide truthful but age-appropriate answers.
Explain the Rules: Let them know about security screenings, behavior expectations, and that they may not be able to touch their parent much, depending on the facility's rules.
Allow Them to Express Feelings: Encourage them to share any fears or anxieties. Validate their emotions without dismissing them.
Plan a Post-Visit Activity: Doing something enjoyable afterward (like getting ice cream or going to a park) can help ease any emotional stress.

Have Open Conversations: Teens may have complex feelings about their parent’s incarceration. Allow them to express their thoughts and concerns without judgment.
Prepare Them for the Environment: Be clear about the security process, possible restrictions, and the emotions they might feel seeing their parent in that setting.
Give Them Autonomy: Let them decide if they want to visit and respect their choice if they aren’t ready.
Debrief After the Visit: Ask if they want to talk about the experience and support them in processing any emotions.